Memories and Elegies
by Juleeroze
Summary: Why does the ghostly sea Captain, Daniel Gregg, need to revisit his past? And why is Mrs. Muir vital to that endeavor? Sometimes family issues continue past the end of one lifetime.
1. Chapter 1

**Memories and Elegies**

by Julie Feldman

_I own none of the canon characters, which belong to R.A. Dick and 20__th__ Century Fox. I make no money from these stories._

**This story is a continuation of the "Touch and Go" world.**

**Chapter 1**

Captain Daniel Gregg was both ghost and corporeal man; both sea captain and artist and both pragmatic and sentimental. In other words, he was entirely human.

Since gaining the ability to maintain solid human form, he had been introduced to the world at large as the cousin of Claymore Gregg, the fiancé of Carolyn Muir and creator of both artistic and scientifically accurate sea charts. Only the first was not true, at least according to the Captain. The Christmas season had seen good growth in his fledgling business and allowed him to purchase a derelict wood block press, which he and his friend Ed Peavey had restored and adapted to his needs for mass producing charts. Of course these charts were not sufficiently clear or fine enough for actual use. For that he would need to invest in sending his material to an engraver or lithographer, but for the time being, what he produced was adequate for artwork and souvenirs.

In the weeks since Christmas, he and his staff (in other words Candy and Jonathan) had spent at least one day of every weekend at a fair or farmers' market selling charts, key chains and decoupaged metal lunch boxes. The money made was enough for the three of them to put aside a little nest egg each. While the teens wanted the latest music album or clothing, Captain Gregg was thinking of spending his earnings on Carolyn. Valentine's Day was only a few weeks away and now it would be so much easier to buy something for her without having to threaten Claymore into giving him funds to do so, not to mention having to engage someone to do his shopping for him. No, this was definitely going to be a much better holiday this year.

Others in the Gull Cottage household were also thinking ahead to Valentine's Day. It had been years already, but Ed Peavey was still going out with their Martha. There had been times when she thought he might ask her to marry him, only to be let down. It was getting to be a sore spot for her. Maybe this year, she'd take the bull by the horns and propose to _him_. For his part, Ed was planning a special dinner at Norrie's Lobster house and then seeing a first run movie at the big theater in Pripet.

The town was hosting a dance for the tweens and teens in the church basement that night, so Jonathan and Candy were all set for that. The only fly in the ointment was that although Candy had recently obtained her driver's license, her mother wouldn't allow her to drive alone at night, especially if it was snowy on the roads. They were going to need to be dropped off and picked up, so Carolyn had resigned herself to having only a limited amount of time with Daniel before she would have to go out and retrieve her offspring. She knew that the other parents would probably make excuses and assume that she wouldn't mind picking up their children as well. She decided therefore, that the evening would need to be very well planned. She had consulted with Martha on canapes and other bits of food, picked up a bottle of very good, very expensive champagne and made sure that she had music that she and her Captain could dance to (including some waltzes, of course). A beautiful ball gown that had been in the back of the closet for years was cleaned and ready for wear. The last thing that Carolyn had to take care of was firmly telling Claymore that he was not going to share the evening with them. He had whined a bit about "family" and being lonely, but the Captain had "popped" in and with a glare in his eye told him that "if you show yourself at Gull Cottage that night, I will wrap you up in a fishing net and throw you into the deepest, coldest, darkest part of the bay, after I run you through with a dull harpoon!". Claymore was convinced at that point, that it was in his best interest not to show up on Valentine's Night.

It was a week before the big day and Daniel Gregg found himself going through old items in Claymore's basement. Of course his "cousin" dogged his every step, continually pointing out that all the items there were now his property, regardless of their origin with the Captain.

"Be quiet, Claymore. I'm not looking for anything that would be of value to you."

"You never know, Captain. One man's junk is another man's treasure, after all."

The Captain grumbled, his already deep baritone dropping even further. "And all of this, junk or treasure, is _mine_, you sniveling frogfish." Claymore dropped back a step or two. "I'm looking for more of my logbooks to see if they can provide any further ideas for my chart business." The now solid ghost opened boxes and looked through piles of books and papers. He was nearly at the last corner of the basement when he spied an old logbook. It was not one he remembered, and it looked much older than his previous ones. Gently prying it out from under the third volume of an encyclopedia ("Ba to Bi"), he gasped as he opened the cover. It was not one of his logs; it was one of his father's.

"What is it? You're stirring up the dust and you know I'm allergic," Claymore said, followed by several sneezes.

"This, you excuse for a damselfish, this is my father's, from a voyage to Rio de Janeiro, not long after I was born."

After returning to Gull Cottage, Captain Gregg settled down in his wheelhouse to read his father's log. He thought he would enjoy the book and gain insight into the man he had always longed to emulate. How long ago it had all been! Daniel had been only twelve when Thomas Gregg had died, and much younger still when his mother passed away in childbirth. He realized that he didn't even remember her, only her older spinster sister Violet who had raised him after her death.

It was so, so long ago. He remembered the first night after he had run away to sea when he was 14. Lying in the hammock he had been assigned to on that first ship, he had wanted to cry, missing his family and everything that had been familiar to him. But he had decided that this was to be his life and that meant when he took off on his own he had become a man. And men didn't cry. And that meant that he could no longer spend time thinking about his family; not his parents, dead and buried, nor his aunt, no doubt crying over the letter he had left for her. He hardened himself, closed off that piece of his heart and went on.

But now, almost a century and a half later, Daniel Gregg realized what a disservice he had done to himself and their memories. There were so many things he did not know, things he had been too young to remember. How he wanted to speak to his parents and his aunt! They had gone peacefully into the light when they died, and he could not communicate with them. Now that he had found his soul-mate in Carolyn and the love of her family, there were things he needed to know and to understand that only they could tell him. He felt the grief that he had suppressed so long ago, but still the tears would not fall. He was at a loss to resolve the dilemma, but he would not give up until he found a way to address that void in his soul.


	2. Chapter 2

**Memories and Elegies**

by Julie Feldman

**Chapter 2**

Over the course of the next few days, Carolyn noticed that the Captain was rather remote, even dour. At times she thought he was sad, and he had a far-away look in his fantastically blue eyes. She had experienced plenty of his moods over the last eight years, but this was something new. Whenever she tried to ask him about it, he either denied that there was anything different about him or changed the topic of discussion.

Martha and the children noticed as well. He was short with them and not at all interested in hearing about their plans for Valentine's Day. When Carolyn heard him abruptly tell Jonathan that he didn't want to hear any more about the boy's plans, she knew that something was truly wrong.

That evening she prepared for bed as usual. Since developing his ability to remain solid, Daniel had typically spent much of the night in bed with her, but once this mood had taken hold of him, he had retreated to the widow's walk until the dawn broke. On this night, however, Carolyn was ready to stand her ground.

"Daniel? Daniel, I need to speak with you!"

"You needn't be so imperious, Madam. I am always at your service", the Captain replied as he materialized in front of her. He of course noticed that she was wearing a lovely cotton night gown that draped itself gracefully over the hills and valleys of her body, but her face had that stern and determined look he knew all too well.

"Daniel, we really need to talk. You can be short and distant with me, but when you treat one of the children like an annoying seaman I must step in and demand some answers."

The mariner drew himself up to his full height and stared at her. "Demand? My dear lady you can demand that I be more gentle with Candy and Jonathan, but you cannot demand that I share my most inner thoughts. No matter how much I love you there are parts of me that mine and mine alone."

Carolyn softened at his words. To her they were just more confirmation that something was making him heart-sick. She gently stepped up to him and took his face in her hands. He diverted his eyes from hers, fearing that she would be able to read too much from them. Standing on tip-toes, she gently kissed his lips. His arms encircled her thin shoulders, holding her to him, wondering yet again how he had been so lucky to find her at long last. Another, deeper kiss followed and then she moved her hands from his face to around his waist and leaned her head on his chest. "Tell me, Daniel".

He sighed. It was no use. Keeping his sadness from her was like trying to hold back the tide. "I found one of my father's log books in Claymore's basement. It was his first command, when I was still an infant. It brought back memories I had pushed away, but more than that, I realized that there was so much about my family that I do not know. My father, my aunt….pale memories. And my mother…" he seemed to take a jagged breath, "I don't remember her at all." Daniel's hand caressed Carolyn's hair as he leaned down to her. "I don't remember what she looked like." Finally a stifled sob escaped, and he held on to her as tears fell at last.

"Dear love, surely there must be a way to find information about them? Why don't I ask Claymore if he has any documents? I can tell him that we are going to do a revision of your memoirs…"

Daniel shook his head. "There is nothing more. I have Aunt Violet's diary and the family bible. I have looked from time to time for more items, but I've never found anything. I was completely surprised to find the logbook, because I'd gone through that basement many times before, looking for things that had disappeared from Gull Cottage. And I've been through all of the town records that are in Claymore's office. Despite his having a filing system that defies all logic, I've found every piece of information on the Gregg family that there is to find."

"Then perhaps there is a way to access your earliest memories? I've heard that hypnotists can be very helpful in that way."

The captain shook his head almost violently. "No. That is impossible, Carolyn. I don't even know if it is possible to hypnotize a ghost, but I don't want to risk exposing what I am." He stood still for a moment, looking into the middle distance. "But, there may be another way." He separated from the warmth of her arms and went to stand by the fireplace where a low fire was helping keep the room warm. Looking at the flickering light for a few minutes Daniel formulated a plan. It might work, and if not, it would be an interesting diversion.

"Carolyn, if you are willing to help, I might be able to re-visit some of my childhood."

She walked over to him, warming herself by the fire. "Time travel?" she asked.

He gave her a rueful smile as he tilted his head to her. The light from the fire made his wavy, curly hair look deeply red. "No, m'dear. I'm afraid that time travel is beyond the abilities of even the most accomplished spirit. I am proposing a dream, or two or three if this works. But I need you, because I can't dream."

"But if it's _my_ dream, how can we experience your childhood?"

"Just like you experienced my idea of Christmas. Think of yourself as the piano that plays the concerto that I wrote. Without my notes, you would be silent, but without you, it would be impossible to hear my music. By directing you into the time and place, I am hoping that my oldest memories might be unlocked to us both. Are you willing?"

"Of course Daniel! When should we do this?"

"Well," he smiled, "as they say, there's no time like the present."

Daniel lead Carolyn to the bed that served them both and cradled her in his arms. They exchanged a few warm kisses before he gently eased her into sleep.

It was early winter of 1830 and there was snow on the ground of Schooner Bay as wagons passed them by. Carolyn recognized some of the buildings that were still standing 145 years later, but there was much that was different in this early time. For one thing, the smell of wood and coal fires filled the air and the harbor was bustling with sailing ships. Typical wooden New England "salt box" houses lined the main road and beyond and the stores in town included a greengrocer, a general store and a smithy somewhat removed from the end of the row. She and the Captain had agreed to present themselves as Captain Muir and his wife Carolyn. He would claim to be a distant cousin of Thomas Gregg, from whom he had received a written invitation to visit should they ever be in the neighborhood.

As they walked up the hill to the Gregg's house, flurries began to descend and the wind picked up, making it noticeably colder. Daniel wore his officer's uniform with his caped wool coat which kept him warm enough, but Carolyn found that even with her own woolen cape, the green silk dress she wore allowed cold air to swirl around her legs with every step. Apparently even a layer of heavy wool petticoats was no match for the Maine winters.

The house they approached was a plain gray-shingled one-and-a-half story salt box. There were two rooms on the main floor and two upstairs, and a kitchen had been built out from the back of main floor. There was a small plot of shrubs and space for flowers in the front. More than likely, there was a small vegetable garden in the back. The front door was approached by two very steep steps and a bright brass lion-headed door knocker gave the house an air of gravity. Daniel was about to lift the door knocker when Carolyn put a hand on his arm. "Are you ready for this, dear?" she asked. He took a breath as he looked down on her. "As much as I can be. Having you by my side is a great comfort, my darling."

He let the door knocker fall heavily on the wood door and before too many moments had passed, it swung open to reveal a young woman very obviously soon to deliver a child. Draped as she was in a typical dark-colored flannel "Mother Hubbard" dress with a bright red shawl wrapped around her shoulders, it wasn't immediately obvious that there was another person in the house. However, curiosity warred with fear and finally causing them to see peeking out from behind her skirts a tow-headed toddler with large blue eyes.

"Can I help you?" she asked. She had a milky complexion and auburn hair. Her eyes were a similar green to Carolyn's. "Please come inside out of the cold."

The hallway was dim, but it was warm. On each side doors led off to the parlor on one side and the dining room on the other. Straight ahead was the stairway to the upstairs, and beyond that was the kitchen.

Daniel bowed and handed the young woman a letter. "I am Captain Muir, and this is my wife, Carolyn."

"Oh yes! Thomas mentioned you to me! You are cousins…" She looked closely at Daniel. "I can see the resemblance. But where are my manners? I am Daphne and this little imp is Daniel." The little face peaked out from behind his mother's dress once more and immediately tried to retreat. Daphne placed a hand on the child's head to keep him from disappearing completely, but he eyed the strangers warily. "Please come into the kitchen where it's warm. I'm afraid that I haven't laid a fire in the parlor. It's a little too much for me right now to set up that big fireplace, especially when it's just my son and I. Thomas is still at sea."

"I would be most happy to lay and light the fire for you, Cousin Daphne, and" kneeling down to be at the toddler's level, "I have a secret to tell you Daniel. Can you guess what it is?" The little boy nodded "no". "My name is 'Daniel', too." Blue eyes met blue eyes with wonder, but the boy still held onto his mother's hand.

Soon a merry fire was warming up the parlor and Carolyn helped Daphne bring in tea and buttered bread. Little Daniel eyed the bread with hunger and hope blossoming in his eyes. Carolyn thought he was an adorable little boy with the chubbiness of babyhood still in evidence around his knees and fists. Already waves and curls were forming in his spun-gold hair and when he concentrated on something, a slight crease formed in the middle of his forehead. He remained wary, however, of the two strangers, only whispering to his mother.

While Carolyn's attention was held by the little boy, the Captain's was riveted on Daphne. She was taller than Carolyn and looked even thinner. He had forgotten that in the past food was not as readily available, especially in the hard winters, as it would be nearly a century and a half later. The burden of her pregnancy and caring for his younger self without assistance from Thomas was wearing her down. She was pale and there were dark rings around her eyes. As she poured the tea he noted that her fingers were rather bony, her wedding ring loose upon her finger.

The little boy was ravenous, as growing children can be. Daphne gave him a piece of buttered bread and he shoved it into his mouth, trying to swallow it whole. She gave him a "mother's look" and shook her head. "Danny! That's not how we eat, especially when we have company. Here, wipe your mouth." She watched him wipe his greasy mouth holding the linen napkin with both hands as he pulled it from one side of his face to another. Handing his mother the now greasy piece of cloth he pulled himself up on his tip-toes to whisper in her ear. She nodded and quietly said, "Yes you may, and then you can play quietly." Daphne was rewarded with a big smile and then the boy dashed off into the kitchen.

Carolyn and Daniel looked after the boy with indulgent smiles. Although the Captain could remember nothing from this time, he had a sense of belonging in this room and with Daphne. For Carolyn, little Danny was the answer to her question of what a child born to her, and Daniel would have looked like.

She shook herself mentally from her reverie and turned to the other woman. "If I'm not being too bold, Cousin Daphne, when do you expect your baby to be born?"

She laughed. "It can't be soon enough! Do you have children Cousin Carolyn?"

"Yes, I do, but they are both nearly grown. However, I still remember what those last few weeks of waiting felt like". She looked over fondly at Daniel. "I imagine that I made a very good imitation of a whale!"

"A most beautiful whale, m' dear." The women laughed at him, but he still look at Carolyn with adoration in his eyes. Daphne sat back against the cushions of the divan, smiling at the love that flowed between these two. She and Thomas had a wonderful marriage, but the Muir's had something special and it made her happy.

Just then, little Daniel ran into the parlor, clutching a well-loved rag doll. It was a boy doll, dressed as a seaman in blue, with a classic seaman's squared collar over it's shoulders. He stopped before Daniel and thrust the beloved object into his hands.

"What do you have here, Danny?" asked the grownup version. "Is that a seaman?"

"Yes, he is!" he crowed in delight at finding an adult from outside of the family who knew what this precious thing was.

"Well, he looks like quite the able seaman to me. Does he have a name?"

"He's Daddy." He turned to Daphne. "Daddy will be home soon, Mam?"

"Yes Dear. Soon. He'll be home soon. Now go play with your doll. Then it will be time for your nap".

Both Daniel and Carolyn could sense the loneliness that both Daphne and her son bore, waiting for Thomas' return. It was Carolyn who broached the subject.

"Will he be home for the baby's birth?"

"Probably not. We expect him home a few weeks after." She sighed and shrugged her shoulders. "My oldest sister Violet will be arriving in a few days, so there's that."

"Aye," answered Daniel. "It's not a mariner's lot to be able to be with his family when he wishes to, but your husband must share the same desire as you to be at your side for the baby's birth."

Daphne laughed. "I'm not so sure, Cousin Daniel. He was here for Danny's birth, and let us just say that he needed more looking after than anyone else!"

Danny had been playing with the doll, hugging it and kissing in between quiet words to it, but now he got up from his spot near the fire. The adults could see that his eyes couldn't quite stay open, a sure sign that it was nap time. Carolyn and Daniel stood as Daphne gathered the child to her.

"I'm so sorry that we can't stay longer in Schooner Bay, dear Cousin," began Daniel.

"Yes, especially now while you're waiting for the baby's birth and Thomas's return," continued Carolyn.

"Thank you. I do look forward to seeing you again soon. It has been a wonderful visit." Daphne extended her arms to give Carolyn a kiss on the cheek, and was surprised upon letting her go, when Daniel pulled her into a most heartfelt hug. As they separated, he saw her bright blush.

"Forgive me Cousin Daphne. It's just that you remind me greatly of my long-gone mother…it is the hug I would have given her had I the chance to meet her when I became an adult…"

The sun was already bright when Carolyn woke up. Daniel had the fire roaring against the cold February day, and there was a steaming cup of coffee on her night table. As she sat up, he came to sit on the bed with her.

"My apologies, dear Carolyn. It was a long night for you, so I let you sleep later than usual. The children are long off to school and Martha will be going into town shortly".

"Oh, I'm fine, but how are you?"

"I have a lot to mull over, m'dear, but I am glad that this idea is working as well as it is. Would you allow me to take you on two more dreams, tonight and tomorrow? I have questions to ask of my father and aunt, if you are willing".

"Of course I am, Daniel! And I was very pleased to meet your mother. But if you don't remember her, how did you know what she looked like. I thought you said that you have no pictures of her?"

"I don't, and photography was just being born at that time and the family was not yet financially able to commission even small portraits. I took what I imagined she would have looked like based on Aunt Violet as a young woman, although my aunt freely admitted that my mother was the beauty of the family. And," he said, taking Carolyn's hand, "I gave her your eyes, because I wanted to forever link the two of you in my mind." He lifted her fingers to his lips and then stood. "I need to think, to be by myself for a while but I will be in the wheelhouse should you need me."


	3. Chapter 3

**Memories and Elegies**

by Julie Feldman

**Chapter 3**

Captain Gregg spent the rest of the day in his attic wheelhouse, pondering their "meeting" with his mother and his young self. He well knew that a schooner captain went on long journeys wherever cargo needed to be hauled, and his desires about the time spent mattered little if he had signed up for the trip. But, no mariner was a slave and if a voyage didn't suit his needs, he was free to wait for something that was more to his liking. The Greggs didn't look like they were so desperate that Thomas had no choice but to make this sailing. In the same position, Daniel knew in his soul that he would not have left an expectant wife and young child at such a moment. So why then had his father signed up to captain a ship knowing that he would miss the birth of a child?

The earliest memory Daniel had was his Aunt Violet sobbing. Daphne had given birth shortly before to a little girl, but neither survived, though he didn't know this until many years later. It was also many years later that he learned that Thomas Gregg returned home two weeks later, stunned to find the house draped in mourning. He was inside for but a moment before he stumbled out the door, his son trying to follow as he ran to the cemetery weeping for his beautiful young wife.

Little Danny had tried his best to comfort his father, but for the moment, Thomas was blind to the boy, the wind whipping around them, the sounds from the town below, everything that was alive while his precious Daphne was dead. Eventually when his tears were spent, he picked up his son and carried him back to the house and his sister-in-law.

The father that he remembered loved him unconditionally but couldn't be described as an expressive man. Looking back, he recalled the many times that Thomas took on long voyages, leaving his Aunt Violet responsible for raising him and maintaining the house. As Daniel got older, he and his father seemed to get on better, especially when they could spend time together going over the rudiments of what an able-bodied seaman needed to know; how to make knots, handle the sails, navigation and repair of the ship. Still, he had to admit, Thomas was not as involved with him as he was with Jonathan and Candy. That evening, he joined his family at the dinner table. He was unusually quiet, watching and listening to the two teenagers. It occurred to him that he had learned to be a parent more by watching Carolyn and Martha interact with them, than he had from the example that Thomas and Aunt Violet had set. Of course the Victorian way of raising children was much different than what was typical of these modern days. It was a time when children were seen and not heard, when they were treated like miniature adults and where even middle-class children were expected to be self-sufficient at a much earlier age then now. Still, Daniel knew in his heart that it was his character to be more involved, open and loving than his father was. Damn Victorian mores! Love, attention and affection _did not_ "spoil" a child!

That evening, he approached the Master Cabin with some concern in his mind. Besides wanting to know Thomas as one man to another and one well-seasoned captain to another, Daniel wanted to know, even needed to know, why his father seemed to always put the sea before his family.

Carolyn was waiting for him, wrapped in a warm quilted wrapper as she sat before the fireplace on the leather sofa. "Daniel," she beckoned him to her when he materialized by the fire. "Come sit with me before we leave on our next journey."

He smiled tenderly at her and sat behind her. She leaned into him and nuzzled his cheek. It was amazing still to be able to feel him as a corporeal being, to experience all the textures of his body, the smell of his skin and his warmth as he wrapped his arms around her. She felt safe and whole sitting there with him before the fire, just enjoying each other's presence. As if reading her thoughts, the solid ghost of Daniel Gregg whispered in her ear, "If we could have nothing more than this, I would still be content, but to be able to love you, please you, be one with you," he sighed deeply, closed his eyes and pulled her even closer to him, "is my heaven on earth".

Loosening a hand to caress his face, Carolyn replied, "As it is mine, dearest love."

They spent more minutes absorbed in each other until Daniel could feel Carolyn's body begin to relax into sleep. Quickly, before she was totally unaware of his words, he explained where they would be traveling to that night and what he wished to accomplish. Her only response was a quiet "Okay".

It was spring of 1840. Unlike the last trip to Schooner Bay, the day was fair and calm. The sun was strong and early flowers like jonquils, crocus and bluets were up, and the forsythia leaves were still deeply green. The town looked little changed in the decade since their last dream. The small merchants and the smithy still were in place on Front Street, but the schooners in the harbor were generally larger. A wagon full with lumber rattled by them, followed by a small stagecoach and Carolyn had to remind herself that it would be more than another decade before a railway would reach the town, supplanting the slow and uncomfortable horse-drawn coach with the slightly faster but much dirtier steam train.

As before, the Captain and Carolyn walked up the hill to the Gregg's house. They would again present themselves as the Muir's, distant cousins of Thomas. Daniel wore the same suit and cape that he had used the last time, but Carolyn noticed that she was wearing a poke bonnet, a shimmery green, full-skirted satin dress with splashes of white bows about the hem and a neat white "peter pan" collar under a black wool hooded cape. She looked down at the white bows so near the dusty road and her forehead wrinkled. "How did women keep their skirts clean?"

The Captain laughed. "A day gown like that would only have been worn for an occasion like this, when one made a formal afternoon visit. Otherwise, it would have been well-brushed and then put away until needed again. But, my darling, the style was made for you. So feminine…"

Captain Thomas Gregg's house looked little different than it had in 1830. The shingles were perhaps a little grayer, but more bushes and flowers occupied the front. The steps were well swept, and the door had a fresh coat of paint on it. The brass door knocker was polished so brightly, it reflected the springtime sun. "I can see that Aunt Violet has the house well in hand. I used to tease her that if I didn't stop moving she would shine me as well as every stationery thing in the place!"

He was just about to grasp the knocker when they heard the sound of running feet approach. The two turned in unison to see twelve-year-old Danny Gregg running up the path, a copy book and pencil in hand. The boy's hair was coppery brown and heavy with curls. It might have started out the day well combed and tamed, but now after a day of school (recess included), it was wild as a savage's. His blue eyes had reached the color that Carolyn saw in the adult Daniel, but there were no smile lines surrounding them yet. After his run home from the schoolhouse his cheeks were red, his mouth open to pant, displaying a fine set of teeth.

He stopped short of the two strangers and noted that the man looked a good deal like him. Puzzled, but remembering his manner, Danny held out his hand to his elder self. "Good day, sir. Can I be of assistance?"

Carolyn looked at the boy that Daniel had been, and once again felt a mother's affection for the lad. He was taller than Jonathan had been at that age, at once sturdy but clumsily put together with large feet and hands and a large, long face. Still, she could just begin to see the man he would become in the young adolescent.

The Captain shook the boy's hand, looking intently at him before answering. "I don't suppose you remember us. You were just a few years old. We are your cousins Carolyn and Daniel Muir."

"Yes! Da told me about your letter. And you're a sea captain too!"

"Aye, that I am. Would your folks be about?"

Before the boy could answer, the door opened revealing a woman who could only be Aunt Violet. There was a resemblance to her youngest sister, Daphne, but Violet was now in her late forties. In her youth, she might have been called 'handsome', but the spinster before them was skinny, plain and her thoroughly gray hair was caught up in a mob-cap. "Oh, hello! You took me by surprise," Violet said looking through glasses between Carolyn and Daniel. The Captain merited a second, more intense examination. "Ah, yes…you must be Captain and Mrs. Muir. Thomas showed me your letter. Please, come inside. I am Thomas' sister-in-law, Violet Carpenter. Danny, go and tell your father that we have company and then wash up." With that, the older woman drew them inside to the parlor.

The room boasted new fabric on the furniture and a freshly laid fire was waiting to be kindled. There was a brightly shined pair of brass gas fixtures on the wall on either side of the large mirror over the fireplace, but oil lamps were in evidence as well. The measured steps of a man were heard on the stairs in the hallway, followed by the sound of the younger Danny running and jumping down to the kitchen to wash his hands and face.

Thomas Gregg was nearly as tall as his son would become, with the same blue eyes and brown hair. He appeared older than his years, careworn and weathered by his years on the sea. His household and clothes were a testament to his success but there was little happiness in his expression. He bowed to Carolyn and then extended his hand to Daniel. "So you are my cousins! I am glad to meet you at last."

"As are we," replied the Captain. For a moment they stood in embarrassed silence, each one aware that the last time the Muir's had visited Thomas was away and disaster was about to befall the small family. Fortunately, Violet bustled in, bringing a porcelain tea tray followed by Danny carrying a generous plate of freshly made scones and a cup of sweet butter. After depositing his small burden, the boy quickly retired to the kitchen for his own snack.

Carolyn picked up the conversation. "Your son is growing well. He seems to be destined to be a tall, sturdy man." Of course, she didn't mention that the 'tall and sturdy man' was sitting right next to her.

A slight smile played about Thomas' mouth. "Yes, thank God. He is a strong lad, hardly ever sick. He does well in school, too. Although," and his smile displayed itself fully, "he has recently begun to be distracted by the girls his age." He looked over at Violet, who quite obviously was both perplexed and unhappy at this latest development of her nephew's.

Daniel laughed and looked at Carolyn. "It is perhaps a family failing, then. The men in this family seem to have a most decided affection for pretty lasses."

Thomas cleared his throat, self-consciously aware of his plain sister-in-law at the same time that he felt a stab of pain for his own 'pretty lass'. "And, sir; where do your cargos take you?" he asked, steering the conversation to a less uncomfortable topic.

"Mostly up and down the Eastern seaboard. I dislike being away from my family for months at a time, so I no longer take commissions that would require passage to more distant lands. And you, Cousin?"

Thomas nodded his head thoughtfully. "Yes, I've thought about doing the same, but the revenue one can make on a longer voyage remains important. I grew up practically a beggar. I never want my son to experience that. Although it takes me away from home for half-a year at a time, my profits allow me to invest in various properties and businesses in Schooner Bay and nearby. Danny will never know hunger".

Daniel leaned forward, looking directly into Thomas' eyes. "Perhaps he will never know physical hunger, but can you say that he will never hunger for his father's love, affection and guidance? Is not your presence in his life a greater investment for him?"

Thomas straightened in his chair abruptly, looking sharply at the other man. Daniel remembered his father's quick temper and raised a hand in supplication. "My apologies, Thomas," he began. "I did not mean to criticize you or the choices you have made. I have been fortunate to have the luxury of different options. I was quite forward, and I hope that you can forgive my blunder."

"Aye. You are fortunate to have the blessing of a wife to grace your home, to grow old with, to…" he could not finish what he had meant to say, and Violet put her hand on his arm to comfort him.

Carolyn was growing more and more uncomfortable and she looked over to Daniel. Seeing that he felt the same, she turned to Thomas and Violet.

"We are both so sorry to upset you. It seems we've overstayed our welcome." She and Daniel stood, as did the others. Violet began to protest politely, but Thomas looked Daniel sternly in the eye. "Because you are my kin I will let this pass. But be advised Cousin Daniel, it is not polite to correct a man in his own house!"

Carolyn and Daniel quickly left the house, heading back toward Front Street. It was strange that the dream hadn't ended yet, she thought, until she saw Danny running from the back of the house toward them. He pulled them toward a stand of tall bushes by the side of the road, so that they could not be seen.

"Thank you," he said quietly to his older self. "I overheard you. It's what I always wanted to tell Da, but he's always so insistent that it's his duty to provide for us and that the long voyages are for the best. But I miss him so!" Daniel looked down at Danny. "Aye, my boy. I know," he whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

**Memories and Elegies**

by Julie Feldman

**Chapter 4**

As dawn was breaking, the Captain was standing on the balcony outside of the cabin he shared with Carolyn. Hands on the ship's wheel and in ghostly form, he didn't feel the cold wind coming off the water that February morning. Even if he had been in solid form, it was unlikely that he would have noticed it in any event. His mind was too full of what he had experienced in the dream he shared with his beloved the night before.

He should have known well enough that confronting his father with the pain their separations caused him, would not change the older man's course. He could well acknowledge that he had inherited Thomas's temper and stubbornness but at least he knew his emotions for what they truly were. It was something, he now understood, that his father felt was a luxury too great to be indulged in. He spun the ship's wheel in frustration. Blast it all! It had been a devil's bargain; Thomas showed his love for him by providing physical and financial security, when all he really wanted was the emotional safekeeping of his remaining parent's warmth and presence.

The French doors creaked open behind him and he turned and smiled at Carolyn. "Go back to bed, my dear. It's too early and too cold to be out here." Still, she did not turn back.

"You're still upset," she replied.

"Aye, but come inside with me and get under the covers."

"Only if you join me, Daniel." On other occasions that might have been an invitation to touch and be touched, to caress and kiss each other until their passions could no longer be denied. But on this dawn it was an invitation to an emotional sharing that was even more intimate than their physical joinings were.

With Daniel solidifying next to her in the old carved bed, Carolyn pulled him closer to her, moving his head to her shoulder as she caressed his wayward curls.

"Don't be angry with him, she murmured. "He did the best he could. You can't judge him by what you've learned since we've been here with you, because before that, you would have done the same as he."

Daniel thought a moment. She had a point. Even a generation ago, it was not a man's place to express his emotions so openly. Sighing, he had to agree. In the world he had grown up in it was the females who nourished and comforted the souls of the family. And that brought him to the last dream-trip he needed to make.

Schooner Bay; July 1848

Once again they were knocking on the door of the old Gregg home. The house was decidedly more run down than eight years before. Some of the shakes needed to be re-nailed, the sharply slanting roof was missing a slate shingle near the northeastern corner and any flowers that once had been by the steps were replaced by bare earth. Daniel raised his hand to the door knocker, noting that it's once brilliant shine was missing.

His father had died on the voyage that followed immediately after their last visit, and two years later, at age 14, Daniel had run away to sea. His Aunt Violet was now alone in the house and in her late 50's.

The face that responded to his knock was indeed his aunt, but she looked much, much older than her years, far more elderly and frail than he could have ever imagined.

"Good Lord! The Muirs! You should have written that you were coming. I would have prepared for you. Come in, come in!"

Daniel reached for Violet's hand, and looking deeply into her eyes murmured, "It has been too long, dear cousin!" She looked deeply into his as well, seeing something there that she could not quite put her finger on.

The corridor past the parlor and the stairs was dark and sad-looking. Carolyn noticed an air of gentle depression seemed to have settled over everything. Violet's eyes were bright with tears that threatened to spill down her wrinkled cheeks.

"I am so sorry that the house is in such a state. It's just me now. No one ever visits…," a slight sob escaped. "Thomas is dead, you know. Danny ran away to sea long ago and I haven't received a letter from him in two years. I don't know if he's alive or dead as well!"

They entered the kitchen, the only room on the main floor of the house with windows that were un-shuttered, as Violet sank into a chair at the kitchen table and let her tears flow.

"Here now, Violet. I've never been able to stand seeing a woman cry," Daniel said earnestly as he sat down on one side of his aunt, with Carolyn sitting on the other. She put her arm around the older woman's thin shoulders and held her as she sobbed quietly.

"If only I knew if he was alright," she said between her tears.

Carolyn looked over to Daniel, but she did not see her Captain. Sitting across from her was a much younger man; Daniel Gregg as he had been at age 20. He had achieved his full height, but he was 20, even 25 pounds lighter. His thin face was all angles and not yet covered with a beard. He wore the uniform of a young Navy lieutenant and was tanned by the sun and the wind, but the freshness of youth was still visible.

"I am alive and well, dear Aunt. See? Look at me Aunt Violet. It is me, really." The older woman looked up and gasped.

"How…?"

"I," he began hesitantly, "am not at liberty to tell you. Just know that I am well and serving in our Navy. I was in the Battle of Vera Cruz last year and since then we have been traveling around the world, so I have not had the opportunity to forward you any letters."

Still Violet wondered about the man in front of her. Despite her dimming eyesight, he looked like her nephew would have as a young adult. His voice was deeper, but still recognizably his. What magic could this possibly be? She looked to Carolyn but couldn't see her well enough to realize that she too was surprised. However, she could feel the younger woman's steady arm about her shoulder, and it gave her a thought. Turning back to Daniel, she raised a thin, worn hand to his face. It was warm, with the scratchiness of mid-day stubble. It was a face no longer soft and round as in childhood, but firm and taut after years at sea.

"Have you come back to stay, dear boy?"

"No, I'm afraid. I'm only here to allay your worries. And to ask you to forgive me for being an impetuous youth who only thought of himself when he ran away to sea. It never truly occurred to me the pain that I would cause you. If I had known then…"

"Shhhh." Violet's hand was still on his cheek. "Danny, it is the way of the world. Every generation _must_ make its break with the one before. You are well. Are you happy?"

"Yes. I love the sea. The world is endlessly beautiful and interesting and exciting, although being a junior officer is not what I wish to be forever. I have been saving every penny I can so that one day I can own my own ship and make my own life."

"And I am sure you will," his aunt replied.

As she watched, Carolyn saw Daniel morph again, this time to a more recognizable, but still younger Captain. His beard was now in place, and he wore his usual clothing, but his face was still unlined and there was no gray yet in his hair.

"I have, Aunt Violet." The voice was now deep and resonant.

Once again Violet gasped, grabbing her hand away from her nephew's face. "This can't be! I must be dreaming…or dead!"

"I want you to know all about my life. I want you to know that I succeeded, sometimes in spite of myself, but always with what you taught me and what you instilled in my heart."

The old woman sat back. This was extraordinary, but after a life of adapting herself to the changing tides each season had brought her, she was not going to let the fullness of this opportunity pass. "If you can show me this, can you show me more of your life?" She turned now to Carolyn. "Danny, is this your wife?"

"No, unfortunately, but Carolyn is my soul mate." As he said the words, Carolyn's clothing and appearance changed to what it normally was. Violet looked rather alarmed at the dress that exposed Carolyn's legs and arms, and at the short hair dressed in mid-1970's style.

"What on earth _are_ your?" Violet demanded.

Carolyn couldn't stop herself from laughing. "I'm a human woman, like yourself. I come from 130 years in the future."

Violet closed her eyes and moved her lips in silent prayer.

"Aunt Violet, let me explain further." Daniel now looked like his typical self. "As I said, I succeeded. When I eventually returned to Schooner Bay, you had been dead for years, unfortunately. This house was uninhabitable, and I had it torn down and built the house I'd dreamed of up toward the point at the east side of the bay. I continued on my voyages, doing business but all the while looking for the woman who was meant for me. Not finding her, I came home thinking I would stay land-locked for a while at least. My life prematurely ended one night when a malfunctioning heater caused me to suffocate. The coroner's inquest incorrectly returned a determination that I had committed suicide, and therefore my body was not buried in consecrated ground. I could not pass on to the other side and remained tied to my home, in ghostly form, for a century."

Violet's eyes opened and she stared at Daniel again, putting her hand up to her mouth and moving slightly away from him as she sat in her chair.

"Do not be alarmed, my dear," he continued. "I am but an illusion. Carolyn and I am here because I will it, but even if I could, I would not think to cause you harm. To return to my story, I could not abide the thought of any others living in my home and kept it from being occupied during those hundred years, until Carolyn and her family rented it. At last I had met the woman who I was meant to fall in love with, but all those years and my death and her life separated us, until very recently."

Violet quickly looked back at Carolyn. "Has she passed away as well?" How was she even calmly having this conversation with the ghost of her nephew and this woman from the far distant future? She had to be hallucinating, she decided.

Daniel smiled. "No, Carolyn is very much alive. Again, I am not at liberty to explain this to you, but please know that my happiness is now complete. There is nothing else that I could want and need, especially since I have been able to once again visit with my family."

Finally Violet realized what had been at the back of her mind all this time. "Daniel Muir…you have been visiting us as this man, haven't you?"

"Indeed. I needed to see you, Da and my mother. I had to remember, had to say my piece. It would not have been possible were it not for Carolyn."

"And I suppose," Violet responded somewhat acerbically, "that you are not at liberty to explain that, either?"

"No," Daniel replied, a smile lighting his face.

"So, if you are dead, and Carolyn is alive…130 years or so from what I think of as 'now', where or what is 'this'?"

"It is a dream, my dear Aunt. A dream of what never was, but only could be in my heart."

With that, Daniel stood, and leaning over Violet, he kissed her cheek. "I love you, dear. I love you all."


	5. Chapter 5

**Memories and Elegies**

by Julie Feldman

**Chapter 5**

Carolyn descended the stairs that Valentine's evening to the waiting hand of Captain Gregg who was clad in his dress uniform. She thought this handsome man was even more magnificent in the high-collared navy-blue uniform of days gone by, though it did hide his strong and masculine neck that she found so appealing.

For his part, Daniel was entranced by his adored fiancé in a deep red ball gown, its neckline scalloped with deep swags of moiré silk that carried across her uncovered shoulders and showed her décolletage to it its greatest advantage. The gown swept down into an elegant bell-shaped skirt with an overskirt of red lace with bits of jet drops and black fringe looped up at various points and ending in another wide set of scallops of silk at the hem.

"You are more beautiful each day I know you," he breathed into her ear.

She was about to respond when the clattering of a pair of teen footsteps behind them on the stairs interrupted.

"Wow, Mom. You look gorgeous!" was Jonathan's response. Daniel smiled. Indeed, the boy was growing up. Candy came down to the foot of the stairs, staring at her mother and for once without words. She merely put a hand on Carolyn's shoulder, touching the silk reverently.

"I hope that one day you will be invited to a formal ball, so that you can borrow this dress," her mother told her earnestly.

Martha emerged from her room next and also was struck by the beautiful ensemble Mrs. Muir was wearing. "When did you have the time to work on that dress? Last time I saw it, it was plain as could be!"

"Oh, I recently saw some, ah, pictures of dresses from the last century and that gave me some ideas," she replied. "It wasn't difficult at all to add some flounces and baubles to it, once I knew what I wanted. I'm glad you all think it was worth the trouble."

Everyone agreed that it was, most particularly one semi-ghostly sea captain, and that's who Carolyn wanted to please the most.

It seemed that only moments later Ed Peavey drove up in his truck. Martha opened the front door for him, and a gust of wind also brought in some errant snowflakes.

"Good evening," the handyman said, greeting the group with a small and unconscious bow. "My, everyone looks quite fine tonight. Quiet elegant, I would say!" which was quite a lot for the Schooner Bay native to say, in fact. Being a "Yankee Clipper" of the old school, Ed was not given to much small talk.

"Mrs. Muir," Martha turned to her employer and friend. "We thought if you wouldn't mind us taking the station wagon, we could bring the children to the dance, and then pick them up later more comfortably."

"That's a fine idea, Martha." It meant that she wouldn't have to curtail her precious time alone with Daniel, and Jonathan and Candy were too big to squeeze into the front seat with Martha and Mr. Peavey in his truck. Of course, her son never minded sitting in the open back, but it was too cold (and dirty) for this outing. "Enjoy yourselves, everyone!"

Once they were alone, Daniel locked the front door and pulled Carolyn into his arms. "I have waited anxiously for tonight, my darling," he said, stopping for a soft kiss on her lips. "I have been too gloomy of late, and I mean to make it up to you."

She smiled up at him, rising on her toes to return his kiss. "I wouldn't have it any other way, but we don't have to be in any rush. They," referring to the four who had just left, "won't be back for hours. Come," she commanded, taking his hand and leading him into the parlor where cold hors d'oeuvres and champagne were waiting. The furniture had been pushed back against the walls and a good-sized fire warming up the room.

Daniel handed a glass of the wine to Carolyn and raised his glass to her. "To the woman who is the most important thing in my world, my soul-mate, my everything."

Before he could take a sip, she raised her own glass to him. "To today, tomorrow and all time, my love."

She turned to the stereo and loaded a record. Returning to him, Carolyn held out her arms. "Dance with me?"

"Gladly," he replied, gathering her in as the waltz began. Daniel swept her around the room, seeing only her beautiful green eyes. How had he ever become this lucky? His love for her only intensified as each day passed, and his heart seemed to be ready to burst at the fullness of it all. Their steps slowed to a halt as he pulled her closer to him and then tilted her chin up so that his lips could meet hers again. This time the kiss was deep, intense and full of need. One hand was around her back, holding her to him, the other gently cupping the breast under her gown. He willed a mound of blankets to appear on the floor near the fireplace, and then guided her to them. It was going to be a glorious Valentine's night.


End file.
